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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Worst. Day. Ever, part III

Sampoorna: When I woke up I was thirsty but all the taps were giving out ink so there was nothing to drink. So I went to get my lunch to go to school but my lunch box had glue in it. By the time I cleaned up the bus came and I missed it. So my parents had to drop me. When I went to school I realized I forgot my lunch box. Then I saw my chair, it had goop on it and I was on it, so I had to get my pants cut off. When I got home nobody was home and the door was locked so I had to wait outside. When my parents came home it was the next day so I got no sleep in the night.

Sean: [. . .] We went upstairs to watch TV and the channels were not working. He [my friend] called "Mom" but no one was there. There was bog all over the place.

Pranav: [. . .] I get a note that I need to go to school on Sunday.

Duncan: Little Grace woke up. She saw clowns staring at her and laughing as if she was the village idiot.
"Pappa, look at the little girl who's in her bed!" shouted a clown in a stroller that was 10 feet tall. A jester skipped in and shouted: "Yeah, she's a funny little cretin!"
Little Grace was even more sad and humiliated when she saw she was surrounded by bars, so she couldn't escape.
Next was a 3rd clown that weighed 300 pounds and had barbells hanging from her nostrils. She threw a tomato with maggots at her.
"That's your food ration, Little Grace" she cackled.
They all tormented her by throwing more tomatoes and rotten eggs. "If You're Happy and You Know It" played on the pipe organ. No day could be worse.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

At the Movies

Sean: Leaf-atarian (PG-13)
I will have a girl that gets bullied by two boys and when she took a bite out of her sandwich she just notices that it was worms. Then when she went home she called "Mom" and then found her mom looking in the sink in the kitchen and she turns around with green leaves sticking out of her head...
I like my movie. The characters in the story are Dorothy, the two bullies Tom and Bob. The main problem was that her mom had leaves sticking out of her head.

Duncan: A Documentary on Earth's Scariest Animals (NC-17, for language and mind-blowing violence).
Starring Miley Cyris as COYOTE PACK TIDBITS
and Nick Jonas as HIPPO COW PREY
"A well-meaning director"
The Oscars. This is it. I can't be outdone by Kung-Fu Panda. This is the most superb footage of animals ever seen. Suddenly, I felt handcuffs being chained to my wrists.
"You're under arrest for releasing wild animals on Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas!" a cop yelled.
"But it's an Oscar winner, you'll see!" I yelled.
"Tell that to the judge, Bub!"
Yet, even in jail, I win 5 Oscars.

Lynn: Hi! I'm Lynn and I'm a total S-U-P-E-R-S-T-A-R superstar. I have celebrity mornings where I turn on my radio to volume 72 and dance in my PJs. Then I dive to my work to finish making my film.
The Dragon's Cave (PG-13)
A dragon protecting the cave and a brave knight that is trying to get the treasure and most of the people who try to get there fail, but one brave knight succeeds.

Lauren: Monsters vs. Lynn and Leigha
It is scary. There is a monster. There are kids. The monster is trying to get the kids. The kids' names are Lynn and Leigha and they are trying to run away and the monster is scary.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Horrible Restaurants

Pranav: Cheese Me brings all the customers in but once you get out you'll have a nasty grin. All they sell is cheese and everyone who works there humiliates you. One order costs 1000 dollars and if you don't eat their food the boss will come to your table to slap you. The outside of the building is fancy but the inside is gross. They never clean the restrooms and the toilets don't flush and they also sell dish water for 2000 dollars.

Sampoorna: The worst restaurant I have ever been to serves plastic eggs with spiders on the outside. They painted the inside with paint and crickets mixed together. You're served in the toilet. You are forced to eat what they give you. The drink is blood. The restaurant is very dirty but the outside is very pretty. The name of the restaurant is the Green Radish.

: A bar and grill.
In whatever town Oberlin is in, Joe sent to a Bar 'n' Grill. 
The waiter asked, "What'll it be?" Joe responded, "A turkey, the whole thing, but a small one." He waited 5 minutes before a decayed and greasy turkey staggered toward him. "Mr. Jennie-O is home," it creaked. "Now for our dinner show." 
It threw a chunk of itself in his mouth. That chunk still had feathers.

Sadie: My least favorite restaurant is Big Boy because I don't like the burgers, because I don't ask for pickles but they give me pickles anyway and the pickles are black and green. Also I am evil because I hurt my brother this morning and I don't feel bad about it.

Lynn: The grossest restaurant in the world is Yuck, Yuck, Yuck. All it is is Yuck.
The restaurant has so many flies and the waitresses are so mean. The restaurant has a stench that comes from the bathroom. The food is so gross. Their sandwiches are made of sand and raw ham with rotten cheese. The restaurant is called Yummy Yuck.

Sean: Food Out!
The grossest restaurant I ever been to is Food Out. Their restaurant is very clean but the waiters are very dirty. The plates are dirty and tables. The bathroom is a table with a hole.

Elena: All the waiters would never wash their hair and smear avocados underneath their nails, which they never clip. They also won't ever wash, brush or cut their hair. [. . .] They all have really muddy, old sneakers as well.

Lauren: Smarty Pants is the grossest place. [. . .] If you say you don't want to eat they say you have to. They make you drink blood. They have spiders on the plates and they don't wash the plates. They trick you, they make it very clean to trick you.

Devak: Blue Nile badness!
Today I went to the restaurant called Blue Nile, an Ethiopian restaurant. The restaurant was very clean. And first the waitress gave me a hot towel to clean my hand. I was really impressed but when the food came, it was really disgusting. It was like mashed vegetables and as soon as I was done with the food I was ready to leave.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Worst Day Ever, part II

(Italicized phrases were fill-in-the-blanks answers on the worksheet)

Today was the worst day ever! When I woke up, I saw that someone put a bat in my salad! And then for breakfast, I had a bat stew. It was so gross! At school, my teacher said we had to cut our fingers off and paste them on a poster. And when we got done doing that, we went to the haunted bathroom. After school got over, this is what I had to do for homework: 2 x 1 x 15 x 95. When I got home, I got in trouble because I cut myself, and my punishment was this: 10,000 years of hard labor. Then, right before I went to bed, I tripped over a nail, fell down, and knocked myself out. When I was unconscious, I dreamt that I died and went to heaven and we had so much fun. It was so scary! Today was the WORST day ever.

- Mariah ... and Danae, who solved the "impossible" math problem and feels proud of herself for that.