826michigan
About Calendar Workshops Volunteer Donate Writing Gallery

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Worst. Day. Ever, part III

Sampoorna: When I woke up I was thirsty but all the taps were giving out ink so there was nothing to drink. So I went to get my lunch to go to school but my lunch box had glue in it. By the time I cleaned up the bus came and I missed it. So my parents had to drop me. When I went to school I realized I forgot my lunch box. Then I saw my chair, it had goop on it and I was on it, so I had to get my pants cut off. When I got home nobody was home and the door was locked so I had to wait outside. When my parents came home it was the next day so I got no sleep in the night.

Sean: [. . .] We went upstairs to watch TV and the channels were not working. He [my friend] called "Mom" but no one was there. There was bog all over the place.

Pranav: [. . .] I get a note that I need to go to school on Sunday.

Duncan: Little Grace woke up. She saw clowns staring at her and laughing as if she was the village idiot.
"Pappa, look at the little girl who's in her bed!" shouted a clown in a stroller that was 10 feet tall. A jester skipped in and shouted: "Yeah, she's a funny little cretin!"
Little Grace was even more sad and humiliated when she saw she was surrounded by bars, so she couldn't escape.
Next was a 3rd clown that weighed 300 pounds and had barbells hanging from her nostrils. She threw a tomato with maggots at her.
"That's your food ration, Little Grace" she cackled.
They all tormented her by throwing more tomatoes and rotten eggs. "If You're Happy and You Know It" played on the pipe organ. No day could be worse.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

At the Movies

Sean: Leaf-atarian (PG-13)
I will have a girl that gets bullied by two boys and when she took a bite out of her sandwich she just notices that it was worms. Then when she went home she called "Mom" and then found her mom looking in the sink in the kitchen and she turns around with green leaves sticking out of her head...
I like my movie. The characters in the story are Dorothy, the two bullies Tom and Bob. The main problem was that her mom had leaves sticking out of her head.

Duncan: A Documentary on Earth's Scariest Animals (NC-17, for language and mind-blowing violence).
Starring Miley Cyris as COYOTE PACK TIDBITS
and Nick Jonas as HIPPO COW PREY
"A well-meaning director"
The Oscars. This is it. I can't be outdone by Kung-Fu Panda. This is the most superb footage of animals ever seen. Suddenly, I felt handcuffs being chained to my wrists.
"You're under arrest for releasing wild animals on Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas!" a cop yelled.
"But it's an Oscar winner, you'll see!" I yelled.
"Tell that to the judge, Bub!"
Yet, even in jail, I win 5 Oscars.

Lynn: Hi! I'm Lynn and I'm a total S-U-P-E-R-S-T-A-R superstar. I have celebrity mornings where I turn on my radio to volume 72 and dance in my PJs. Then I dive to my work to finish making my film.
The Dragon's Cave (PG-13)
A dragon protecting the cave and a brave knight that is trying to get the treasure and most of the people who try to get there fail, but one brave knight succeeds.

Lauren: Monsters vs. Lynn and Leigha
It is scary. There is a monster. There are kids. The monster is trying to get the kids. The kids' names are Lynn and Leigha and they are trying to run away and the monster is scary.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Horrible Restaurants

Pranav: Cheese Me brings all the customers in but once you get out you'll have a nasty grin. All they sell is cheese and everyone who works there humiliates you. One order costs 1000 dollars and if you don't eat their food the boss will come to your table to slap you. The outside of the building is fancy but the inside is gross. They never clean the restrooms and the toilets don't flush and they also sell dish water for 2000 dollars.

Sampoorna: The worst restaurant I have ever been to serves plastic eggs with spiders on the outside. They painted the inside with paint and crickets mixed together. You're served in the toilet. You are forced to eat what they give you. The drink is blood. The restaurant is very dirty but the outside is very pretty. The name of the restaurant is the Green Radish.

Duncan
: A bar and grill.
In whatever town Oberlin is in, Joe sent to a Bar 'n' Grill. 
The waiter asked, "What'll it be?" Joe responded, "A turkey, the whole thing, but a small one." He waited 5 minutes before a decayed and greasy turkey staggered toward him. "Mr. Jennie-O is home," it creaked. "Now for our dinner show." 
It threw a chunk of itself in his mouth. That chunk still had feathers.

Sadie: My least favorite restaurant is Big Boy because I don't like the burgers, because I don't ask for pickles but they give me pickles anyway and the pickles are black and green. Also I am evil because I hurt my brother this morning and I don't feel bad about it.

Lynn: The grossest restaurant in the world is Yuck, Yuck, Yuck. All it is is Yuck.
The restaurant has so many flies and the waitresses are so mean. The restaurant has a stench that comes from the bathroom. The food is so gross. Their sandwiches are made of sand and raw ham with rotten cheese. The restaurant is called Yummy Yuck.

Sean: Food Out!
The grossest restaurant I ever been to is Food Out. Their restaurant is very clean but the waiters are very dirty. The plates are dirty and tables. The bathroom is a table with a hole.

Elena: All the waiters would never wash their hair and smear avocados underneath their nails, which they never clip. They also won't ever wash, brush or cut their hair. [. . .] They all have really muddy, old sneakers as well.

Lauren: Smarty Pants is the grossest place. [. . .] If you say you don't want to eat they say you have to. They make you drink blood. They have spiders on the plates and they don't wash the plates. They trick you, they make it very clean to trick you.

Devak: Blue Nile badness!
Today I went to the restaurant called Blue Nile, an Ethiopian restaurant. The restaurant was very clean. And first the waitress gave me a hot towel to clean my hand. I was really impressed but when the food came, it was really disgusting. It was like mashed vegetables and as soon as I was done with the food I was ready to leave.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Worst Day Ever, part II

(Italicized phrases were fill-in-the-blanks answers on the worksheet)

Today was the worst day ever! When I woke up, I saw that someone put a bat in my salad! And then for breakfast, I had a bat stew. It was so gross! At school, my teacher said we had to cut our fingers off and paste them on a poster. And when we got done doing that, we went to the haunted bathroom. After school got over, this is what I had to do for homework: 2 x 1 x 15 x 95. When I got home, I got in trouble because I cut myself, and my punishment was this: 10,000 years of hard labor. Then, right before I went to bed, I tripped over a nail, fell down, and knocked myself out. When I was unconscious, I dreamt that I died and went to heaven and we had so much fun. It was so scary! Today was the WORST day ever.

- Mariah ... and Danae, who solved the "impossible" math problem and feels proud of herself for that.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Worst. Day. Ever.

Blah blah blah blah blah
No No No No No No No
No blah blah blah
The worst day ever.
-Stacia, Attempt 1


1. Fall in the pool.
2. Fall off the roof.
3. My head gets shaved.
4. I got on punishment.
5. I had to eat fish.
6. I got lost in the store.
7. I got left on the bus.
-Tony


I wake up and I'm surrounded by zombies. Outside are deer that are on fire. There's 12 minutes until earth is destroyed. Everybody is a zombie and we're all hungry.
-Jermaine


The worst day ever is when my sister threw up on me because she was sick and that was really nasty. One day when my mom and dad were picking up my sister and I was at home with my grandma there was a tornado and stuff was spinning in it, and a lot of things spinning around in the tornado.
-Takayla


The worst day ever was Shahliah not getting in trouble. I was so mad. She could've got in trouble. And then she started to yell at me for No Freaken Reason. And just because I slept on her bed she yelled at me again. The End.
-Stacia, Final Draft

July 29, 2029

Sean: The basketball stadium will be the shape of a basketball and look like a basketball. The football players will have more money.

Lynn: My kids names are going to be named Alissa, Andrew and Ashley. I will also have a dog named Brandie.

Devak
: I will take a shower and immediately go to the Barack Obama hospital. Because Obama was in a car crash. Now we have a big laser to cut through the head. I will eat dinner and go to sleep.

Pooja: I would learn more about science. I will figure out a question nobody has ever figured out before! That is what it would be like 20 years later! They would invent a medicine which is a candy. Dogs would have super speed. They would take 20 years to finish a book. Houses would reach space. This is 20 years later! Wait a minute, the medicine would cure candynitis. This is 20 years later!

Sampoorna: There will be a medicine that is in candy. And for Halloween there will be a pumpkin that you can color on then put it on a pumpkin then wash the pumpkin and wherever you drew it would carve the pumpkin and if you touch one of the places it will carve. While it carves it will not hurt.

Lauren: I don't want it to change. When I am 27 I will look like I am 7.

Duncan: The Animator's Office
I am possibly the only remaining human on earth. The air is now impossible to breathe, so everyone else moved to Vega, one of Pluto's stars. My only company is vampires and carnivorous horses and talking cats.

I finished animating an action kid cartoon. My assistant, a vampire named Queanapo sauntered toward me.

"The background is beautiful," he commented somberly.

"As the actual earth was once," I whispered. He put his hand, or should I say paw, on my shoulder and sobbed. "The earth is now grey and dark. Your cartoons are the only sunlight we'll see, since they took place before 2018."

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sharp Teeth and Money in the Bank

The Fladodalpo:
My animal is the fladodalpo. And it lives in 3 different places. 1. Africa, 2. rainforest, 3. the desert. He can fly, hear far, and run as fast as a cheetah. He eats leaves because he cares for other species. And he wishes he was a human so he could be a vet and help the other animals.
- Monai


The Snog:
A snog is like a snake that barks like a dog. He has really sharp teeth and he has money in the bank. The snog is green and it looks ugly. He has 2 feet and wears shoes and a shirt and he's married.
- Cedric


The Spiderpig:
The Spiderpig lives in the woods. It eats flies and slob, preferring flies on its slob, as we would sprinkles. It's perfect for traps. It doesn't use the bathroom. It uses the poop for a web.
- Travon


The Snerbil:
Its name is the snerbil. It's a snake and a gerbil. What it eats is gerbils, so he eats himself. In the picture, he is trying to catch his tail to eat it.
- Jocelyn


The Hot Girl:
Hot girl live in my house. They eat my body. Sleep on the leaves and vegstables, and healthy as a horse.
- Nate

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Law

If Hikone made the rules around here. . .

Jermaine: If you curse you will be hit with a paintball gun.

Jerome: No stealing, if you do you have to suck on a million feet.

Takayla: No eating fish because it is nasty. If you do you will get sick, your throat will go dry, or you will get in trouble.

Antonio: No leaving the town, you will get kicked in the butt.

Breonna: No dogs allowed, except for Colby, Button, Rocsy, Toepy, Tater Tot, Gizmo, Reese, and the little black puppy.

Sierra: No wild dogs, no little boys except my sons and no big boys except my sons, and only my daughter's friends and my son's friends and little baby friends can play and don't make the rooms messy or those have to clean those up.

Fred: No copying. Tony goes to jail.

Tony: Fred is going to jail.

If...

Cats rule world?
Lynn: School started at 1:00 because my cat/teacher loves to sleep. I just hate this cat world where everyone's a cat! I wanted to leave this world where everyone is a heavy sleeper. I hated school here, I wanted to go to school SOMEWHERE ELSE! Gelly roll gelly roll gelly roll.
Sean: The world would be very hairy. I will be very dirty. I would have hair balls all over the place. I would have to learn cat language. I would have to meow.
Abigail: If cats ruled? Well I have one question for you! What do you think the janitors and plumbers would do?
Pooja: My teacher would fall asleep at math on top of her desk. If she was in a bad mood I would pet her on the stomach and she would be happy again. [. . .] We would have a teacher named Fluffy and Whiskers. School would be over at 2:00. They would teach us how to meow instead of talk. At the end of the day I would wish we didn't have cats to rule the world. It would be a headache to have cats to rule the world!
Sadie: If a cat was a waitress I think the menu would be mice and milk.
Duncan: A Calico King (by Rudyard Kipling)
Thou shalt not escape King Raptor.
No mouse can dodge him. They're his prisoners.
"I sentence dread and drear to all dogs," he yowls.
Out of the woods bound panicking dogs.
"TALLY-HOE!!" Raptor shouts from a horse. "Here ye, here ye! Thy king announces fox hunts shall have wolf hunts and even hound hunts a-following after!"
All royal aquariums of human emperors and aviaries of Elven duchesses are gone and eaten.

Roads are rivers?
Kelly: There would be a sideswim (sidewalk) for swimmers.
Devak: School would be underwater. And for lunch you would have fish, squid, octopus, and shrimp. Humans might even develop gills.
Lauren: I would swim everywhere. Everybody is tan and has blonde hair and wears swim suits. Everybody skates in the winter. Dogsled or snow boots.
Pranav: If anyone forgot their water bottle they could drink out of the river.
Rosie: There would be signs like "Surfers share road," and floating caution cones for construction. Street lights would be lighthouses.

Hands for eyes?
Devak: To put my clothes on I would have to bite my clothes and would have to toss them on my head. And for breakfast if I had cereal I would have to put the spoon in my eye socket to scoop it out of my bowl.
Sadie: If I shook hands with a person they would run away.
Pooja: I would brush my hair with my eyes and instead of moving my hair brush I would move my head. I wouldn't brush my teeth with my foot, definitely not with my foot.
Pranav: I would have robot that would guide me everywhere I want to go. And when I'm writing my robot would tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Eating rocks?
Sean: If I ate rocks, I would taste like one. The gray one would taste like vanilla and the limestone would taste like banana and the fool's gold would taste like Superman. I will look like a ball of water and rocks.
Pranav: For breakfast I would have a rock pancake for breakfast, for lunch a rock pizza, for dinner rock rice.
Lynn: I woke up early in the morning smelling my favorite rock, limestone. I ate one and washed it down with lava. I packed some for lunch, brushed my teeth and gathered by books and went to catch the bus.
Kelly: My favorite rock is granite and sandstone. I usually drink metallic liquid, and lava would be a treat. Marble is especially good, but that's usually at special parties. For breakfast I have quartz, limestone and sometimes crystal for a difference. Lunch is normally fool's gold and mica.
Rosie: Here's what each rock tasted like: grantite = cherries; marble = waffles; limestone = limes, of course!; quartz = brownies; sandstone = lettuce; crystal = ice cream; olivine = olives; geode = it comes in two flavors, blackberry and spaghetti.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Rock and roll

Matthew: The Cockroaches
  • Genre: ROCK N' ROLL!
  • Band History: Where they met is still a mystery.
  • CRAWL!
    1. Crawling in the Night!
    2. Pinching in the Daytime!
Sara: The Arresters
  • Band History: They met in the Wart Lobby. The band's name is Rock and Roll. Their costumes said "You Rock." 6 million people are in the band. The Arresters say get out of jail, punk. They stomp their feet while they sing.
Sophia
: The Panda Pinkos
  • Self-Titled Album (Disc One: Rock It, Disc Two: Rock Away):
    1. Pandas
    2. Pink
    3. Rock Away
    4. Wild
    5. Rock Me Too Much
    6. Awesome
    7. Fly to the Sky
Duncan: The Sad Ones
  • Genre: Heavy Metal
  • Members: A smart aleck named Anders ("Undies") and his overgrown best buddy Duncan ("Dumpling")
  • Instruments: Undies on scratching blackboard, Dumpling on fire alarm
  • The Sad Ones present 'Sadbunny'
    1. Sad Baby (5:00)
    2. Sadbunny (10:00)
    3. Ghost with Measles (5:00)
    4. Woodpecker vs. Hyena (5:00)
    5. The Band Breaking Up (10:00)
    6. Reunion (5:00)
Lauren: The Silent Band
  • Hit Single: None
  • Costumes: Duck outfits
  • Band History: They decided to have a band to be quiet.
Sean: KISS 2
  • Hit Single: Detroit Rock City
  • Costumes: Black and white face paint, black pants and shirt.
  • We Dare You On Now
    1. Hot Hot Hotter Than Hell Man
    2. Detroit Rock City to You
    3. Doter Love Oh Yeah
Alison:
  • Band History: I was in a restaurant putting on a show. THen a record dealer saw me and put me on air.
  • Costume: Snazzy silver tight pants with a white sequined shirt.
  • Head in a Cloud
    1. Head in a Cloud
    2. Out of Town
    3. Never Wanna See You
    4. Dream
    5. Ironic
    6. Magic
    7. Just Luck
    8. I Saw an Angel
Elena: The Golden Girls
  • Costumes: My costume is a short, shiny, sleeveless gold dress, gold earrings, silver heels, and a silver choker necklace with a Star Charm and a gold, chunky bracelet. Everyone else wears gold tank tops and gold miniskirts with silver belts. They also wear gold headbands.
  • Self-Titled Album
    1. B mine
    2. Silvold
    3. Best Friend
    4. Sprinkle
    5. Think Pink
    6. Treasure Chest
Lynn: The Miracles Happen Band
  • The Miracles Happen
    1. Miracle
    2. Classic Attack
    3. Buzz Buzz
    4. Fly to the Sky
    5. Whoa Ga
    6. Choo Choo
    7. Come Along
    8. Cool!
    9. Yeah
    10. Whoo Hoo
    11. Miss You
    12. Yummy in My Tummy
    13. Day Dream
    14. A Choice
    15. For Your 15!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Letters to Monai

Dear Monai,
The place I would like to go with you is Ohio. Because that is where Cedar Point is. Me and you can have lots of fun without Taryn. We can go on the rides eat lots of junk food and stay there over night. Then wake up and get on another roller coaster without Taryn! Yay!!! Without T-A-R-Y-N!!!
- Jocelyn


Dear Monai,
The place I would like to go is Splash Universe without Jocelyn. We could ride the rides all night without Jocelyn. We could do everything without Jocelyn. Especially sleep in the cozy beds. Without J-O-C-E-L-Y-N!
- Taryn

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dream vacations and postcards

Well. . .where would you go?

Sam: I would go to Florida because it is hot. I would go with my momma, daddy, and granny. I'd bring some girls, my tight shoes, my Air Force Ones. I will go to the beach, get all the ladies on the beach. I would bring back some clothes and some fierce shoes.


Suszie: I would go to a store because it is fun to buy stuff. I would go with my mom. I would bring a backpack. I would do baffips [backflips]. I will eat cake and ice cream and bring back candy fruit roll-ups.
  • Postcard: Dear Josh, He is a good guy. I miss you on vacation. He like me. Your friend, Suszie
Jermaine:
  • Postcard: DUDE! I STOLE A RUSTY BIKE IN STONEBROOK."

22 Boyfriends

"Once upon a time there was a mermaid named L'dana. She had 22 boyfriends but only one was her truest love. His name was Kevin."

-A mysteriously submitted story by Stacia

King's Travels (by Jack London)

By Duncan

King was a red wolf. 3ft at the shoulder and 6 feet from nose to tail.
From a town called Luzchivez in California, he is the first animal to travel on foot to Peru.
On his way he met a silly Caiman named Tequilla in Northern Central America.

"What's your name?" King asked.
"Mi gusto burritos! Aye-aye-aye!" Tequilla guffawed, banging his tail on a xylophone.

The reason he's so silly is that he always talks off topic, not because he speaks only Spanish.
They eventually reached Peru. As they saw their first llama, King said to himself: Tequilla is a great friend for leading me here. Tequilla responded by inquiring: "Como se llamas? Mi llama Tequilla! Hablo Espaniol, amigo?"

They had many fun years together. But, good times must end. After all, human relationships are longer than animal friendships.

King merely left with a hunk of meat. Tequilla cried one salty tear, not crocodile, but a real tear of sorrow. He knew King was back in California with his own kind.

"No mi gusta," he sobbed. This time he spoke on topic.
  • Postcard: Dear Hunters,
    My guide to Peru is a Caiman named Tequilla.
    I wish you were here, Queen. Not as much you, baby wolves, as Tequilla could be perilous.
    On the back is apicture of Tequilla, whom I'm swimming with tonight.
    Love, King.

Best Vacations

If we ever get the scanner working, pictures will be added.

Lauren: I want to go to Kalahari. I want to bring my swimsuit and my goggles and my towel and clothes. I am going to bring Lindsey. I am going to play in the water. I am going to jump in the water. Splash!!! On a plane! I am going to have a party with Lindsey.
  • Postcard: Dear mom, dad, mom, Leigha, Lynn. I miss you so much. I hope you have a good time. This is what I did I went on the rides I swam in the pool. I went to the airport. I went on the airplane. I am going to come soon!! I am coming soon. Yay. I will come. Get ready Lauren coming. Yahoo! Great.
Alison: My dream vacation would be in Honolulu, Hawaii.
[. . .]
I will get there by a free luxury cruise. It will be almost as big as the Titanic, but more better and elegant. Oh, and it will be a private cruise.
My end of vacation party will be a luau and all of my friends and family except Lindsey. There will be tiki torches and hula dancers.

Lucia: All the unicorns are pure white and sparkle like snow, and the only way you can tell them apart is by their horns. They're all different colours. They also have games, or races, with the other creatures. To compete skills in magic, or running or speaking. But everyone is a winner.
To get to the clouds you have to first go in a flying boat, then a phoenix takes you the rest of the way. In order to go back down to earth you have to ride a unicorn.

Jack: Once upon a time a person named Rum went to the Pacific Ocean. He walked to the ocean and he swam to the middle. Be brought a gun, soda, a bucket and a sandwich. These items aren't real useful well. He survives, THEN a rocket falls into the water. Rum exploded into thin air and landed on an electric eel. Well he died.
  • Postcard: Help oh my gosh I'm drowning
    Ahhhhhhhhh
    ughhhhhhhhh
    Arghhhhhhhh
    Die shark so
    Here's pictures on the back
    To: Pirates
Sean: To North Carolina. I would bring all of my North Carolina stuff like my hat, jersey and my basketball hoop and stuff. No one will come with me. I would play basketball on my basketball hoop. I will get there by bus. I will have a contest on basketball 5 on 5. I will have lot of fun at North Carolina. I will go to the game of the Cavaliers and Lakers and play with them. I wil play with Kobe Bryant and LeBron James.
  • Postcard: Hi _____
    Come to North Carolina and you will be happy that you did.
    Bye
John:
  • Postcard: It has been five days since the attack. I doubt we will last long but Kyle has a plan. Me being as negative as I am decided to write this in case it fails. You wouldn't believe what happened! But seeing is believing so I've enclosed a tape of it all. Time is short. I have to go. Farewell and if this note is found please forward it to Mark and Linda.
Elizabeth:
  • Postcard: Dear Liz and Josh,
    Hi I'm on a desserted island. I fell off a ship that was coming from Peru and going to Puerto Rico. I fell off the ship and landed on a desserted island. I just learned how to make acorn pancakes!
    Elizabeth
Britt: Everything seemed dismally grey. The sky, the buildings, the rocks and even the Ocean. It seemed that nothing could get worse. I stared out at the dismal sea. On eof the barges crossed the horizon. I wished I could get on one and sail away go anywhere not grey. Just then Emma came up to me in a hurry. Emma had lived in Rockaway ever since I could remember. "Britta" she gasped. "I'm leaving." "leaving?" I cried. "Where?"
"I'm going to Ireland to my Aunt and Uncle's."
I remembered the Pictures of Ireland we had seen at School. The green fields rolling over each other in waves. Before I had time to think I blurted, "Could I come?"
Emma looked startled and stuttered, "I dunno Britt."
  • Dear Mum,
    I docked safely in Ireland with Emma. We are staying at her Aunt's and Uncle Patrick's. We had fun on the ship and I think I like to stow away better than pay legally. [. . .]

Monday, July 20, 2009

Birds

Hevain.
Birds fly.
Birds eat.
Birds boo. boo.
Birds drink anything.
Birds git drunk.

-Jashad

[If I was a bird] I would go to Las vagas because I can eat food go to bed lay my eggs play watch TV go to the movie theater go on a motorcycle get something to drink go to my friends house to to a football game go to the mall go to the grocery store go buy books at the store go buy a dog buy a PSP or nintendo DS go to the bar die my hair.

-Serenity

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Colby

Fred: Colby the dog is a very nice dog. His fur is so soft. He likes his belly rubbed. It's too bad he has fleas.

Jerome:
My name is Colby and I like to chew toys.
My favorite thing to do is to go to Illinois.
I like to use the fire hydrant a lot.
I always like kids reading to me,
Especially under the tree.
My owner is very nice to me.
I have to walk every day for a daily workout,
I tell you that my favorite song is Twist and Shout.

Jermaine: Colby is black and fuzzy. He is a big dog and a good dog. If he stands on two paws he's almost 5 feet tall. One day Colby will be Dogzilla!!! Dogzilla is a big dog, in fact the biggest and bestest dog in the worlds.

Stacia: Once upon a time there was a princess-dog named Colby and she was the cutest princess-dog ever. The queen of Colby is Amy. Amy was the owner and one day, Colby wanted to count how many treats she had, but where were they? So she was so mad she barked in doggy language and said "What happened to all my treats, I feel like kicking someone in the butt, it's gonna hurt so bad poop is going to come out of your mouth. In 2 weeks she found out the evil king was Tater Tot. Soon as she found out she snuck out of her room. First she had to pee on the first security guards... (to be continued).

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What if?

What I am scared of is Chicken Man. I'm scared of death too because what if you die but then you don't go to heaven or h-e double hockey stick. What if you're stuck in the middle.
- Jocelyn

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Baldwin Center: Day 2

[After explaining how we'll be writing and performing a play]
Kid #1: "Are we getting paid for this?"
Kid #2: "Will you give us 99 million dollars?"


Story the 4th-6th graders' play is inspired by:

The Old Man Who Didn’t Give the Old Man Some Soup [told by Isaiah]

"There’s two girls that act like they were two old men. There’s a table, and they start banging on it saying 'give me some soup.' And the old man that works there says, 'I’m not giving you any soup.'

The waitress just walks away and the old man never gets any soup."

826michigan's Official Summer Song

Baldwin Center: Day 1

Nyeesha's t-shirt: "Boys are like school on holidays. No class."


[Playing a game where the kids must become different creatures on command]
Aaron, 826 volunteer: "Okay, now the transformer dome will be..."
Devian, roughly 10 years old: "A rave party!?"


[Discussing our play and its characters]
Devian: "Can I be the one in distress?"

More Superheroes (part two)

Sadie:
When Super Sadie comes to the bank she just watches the fight. Because it is fun. She is super about watching crimes and she just really likes to watch crimes.

Sean:
If I had a power I would have anything I want. I would have a big head, I would have a white shirt. I will have big feet. I will be an alien. I will defeat Mr. Brain. He has big teeth, a weird snape, 3 fingers, 8 arms, a weird shape on his leg. And 53 toes.

Lindsey:
Power: I can turn into anything I want.
Enemies: Boys.

Lynn:
Fire Girl was robbing the bank! [Super Psychic] couldn't tell the cops because they would question why she was out at 12:00 midnight.

Lauren:
Super Skater.
She can turn anything into ice.
She can skate very fast.
She can do jumps.
She can do spins.
She can do stretches.
She can do spiral sequences.
She can do moves.
She was born like this.

Somebody robbed a bank and Super Skater saw and made them into ice. And put the money back. And he went to jail. She saw in a newspaper. She already [solved] 500 crimes. Her award was $300!!!

Jack:
Zackum isn't a girl or boy. He's nothing. He has 134 arms. He's made out of lava. He's a villain. He lives in lava. He's the second most biggest thing in the world. He fights for freedom. His archenemy is, let's just say billions of people.
Bob is the strongest man in the universe. He doesn't look that strong. He is.
Zackum got away with [robbing the bank] but since he stole the money he was cursed, so if he went to the bank he would die. Years and years passed by. Zackum tried to go in the bank. He almost died. He went in again. He died.

More Superheroes (part one)

Phantom, by Duncan
Occupation: Kidnapper, ghost
Nemesis: Crazy Dog (rapper hero)
Powers: Morph into panther at will.
Real name: Garth Zyxx
Is like this 'cause: He was bit by a radioactive panther.
Why he hates Crazy Dog: He's scared of hip-hop.

The Coat (by Charles Dickens)
Phantom nimbly races betwixt the alleys. The banker's coat is cast upon his gaunt arm.

He bells like an elk, "Tra-lu! Tra-lae! In moons thou shalt find me!"

But gather, oh children, as if a tempest struck with a clang, the rapper Crazy Dog came forward.

"Thou jests, homie. Answer thyself to prison and law. I expect to buy a milkshake, and lo, I catch...Phantom!"

The hunt was delayed, as Crazy Dog was trotting out of the alleys.

Phantom, now a decayed panther, roars, "Enjoy thy bones, he whom seeks the coat. I shall lunge unto thee!"

Monday, July 13, 2009

What We Know About Reptiles

ddkhdkskldkhsamskdjskdjkedhk
sekjdkudku8888
shsksslas
__ __ __ __ 9
- D'nico, attempt 1

1. It can do do.
2. It can flie.
3. It can pee.
4. It can eat.
5. It is red.
6. It is an a animal.
7. It can be a mom.
8. It can look.
- Jordan

It is dome.
It cannot walk.
It can kill lots of things.
Why do I have to right this
blaa blaa blaa
- D'nico, attempt 2

They got long tongues.
They got big eyes.
Snake do not have a nose.
It can eat.
It can bite.
Ther are long.
It can pee.
It can doo doo.
- Earl

Algator are cool.
They are a dodo green.
Can live in swamps.
They are cool.
The green color is wired.
This is fun but boring.
- D'nico, attempt 3.

Student of the Century: CJ, 13

"This computer is so slow. Can I punch it to make it go faster? Y'all should have Comcast."

Martel: "My dad told me about this animal, an elephant plus a kangaroo."
CJ: "A kelephant?"

"Wait are unicorns real?"

CJ: "Will you Facebook friend me?"
Meghan: "I don't know if I can do that. How would you like it if you were Facebook friends with your teachers?"
CJ: "I am Facebook friends with my teachers!"

"Will you comment on my blog post? Pinky swear!"

About the Authors: Taryn, Travon, and Zach

My name is Taryn. My favorite sports are swimming and cheerleading. I have a sister and a brother [Travon]. My favorite thing in school is writing. I love to play video games. My favorite tv show is Simpsons. My favorite character is Lisa. I can eat candy all day.
- Taryn.

I like to eat. I don't like writing. I really don't like swimming. I have two sisters and no brothers. I like the Simpsons, my favorite person is Bart. If I could, I wowuld go to an abandoned planet to make sure there is no one there so I could send my sister there so she couldn't annoy me. I hate candy.
- Travon.

(as dictated to Paul)
I like to watch cartoons on Adult Swim. I like soccer. Buy me some skittles. Paul is my friend.
- Zach

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Things I would bring with me to Antarctica

Duncan: A bayonet. Good for flaying and knocking off potential food.

Jack: Jet pack just in case the ice melts. Fuel in case I run out of jet pack fuel. Tube if I need to travel by water. Just in case.

Faith: A boyfriend.

Words, words, words

Birl (BIRL) n. Boy/girl. There was a birl on the soccer team. By Lynn.

Cauciah (cau-KEE-ah) n. A backstabbing friend. Faith is a cauciah. By Stacia.

Esspothonia (ess-po-THONE-ee-ah) n. A sickness. I got esspothonia yesterday. By Jack.

Fafer (FAH-FUR) adj. Fast. I need to go fafer. By Lauren.

Lamado (lah-MAH-do) n. A boyfriend stealer. Faith is a lamado. By Stacia.

Pielikezi (pie-LIKE-zee) interj. I like pie. Pielikezi so much. By Sean.

Zuka (ZOO-kah) n. A true friend. Faith is not a zuka. By Stacia.

If I were a superhero and had an arch rival...

(From the kids at the Inkstains workshop at EMU yesterday)

"My arch rival would be Hugh G. Butt. Get it? HuGE butt? And his superpower would be letting out atomic, poisonous farts."

"Mine would be Ronald McDonald, and he would shoot french fries out of his fingers. They would go directly into your mouth and make you fat and keep you from fighting back."

"My arch rival would be my math teacher. And he would swear in front of the class."

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Slapped all the way to Africa

"This is the Zaparo. It is like a stage you can put a finger print on there and it receives it and if its the right code you can change ur face you can time travel and you can see how you look when your 21. And more it is a fun thing. If it does reject then ur gonna get a bad woopen. If you break it your going to be slapped all the way to Africa."

-Stacia

Monday, July 6, 2009

Frog got 4 legs

1. Baby frog are slimey
2. Frog get bake [back] leg first
3. Frog are different colors
4. Some frog lay egg different way
5. Frog can jump high
-DK


x Baby tadpoles are so ugly
x Frog are icky
x Some frogs are rainbow colored
x I don't like frogs at all
x Erica is a frog
-Diamond


-Frog got 4 legs
-Frog got legs
-Frog got a long tongue
-Frog eat flies most of the time
-Frog are cool sometime
-Some frog are slimy sometime
-A baby frog is called a tadpole
-Frog can be kept as pets
-Earl


Some forgs are red. Some forgs eat flies. Some forg are yellow. Forg can hop. Forg are slimy. A baby forg is name a tadpole. Forg can be kept as pets. A forg is cold blooded. Forg have a lily pad.
-Jordan

About the author: Joe

I like green leafs.
I like cats.
I like sneakers.
I like my home.
I love my mom.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Stinky Planet

A story by Tiana
[never written down but retold here for the purposes of laughing & smiling]


Here is my planet. It's called Booger World, and here is the Queen. The Queen is me, and there's my blue dress. There's my crown - it's made of boogers dipped in gold. See, I don't have a mouth, because people are born without mouths and then they have to find a mouth tree and pick one. And there's my dog, who's a skunk, because on this world, dogs are skunks. And the people on the planet eat the skunk poop, and use the skunk spray as perfume. They're really stinky, the whole world is really stinky, that's why there are all those SSSSssss coming off the planet.

So, their dogs are skunks, and their cats are alligators. But the alligators are nice, and don't eat the skunks, or the people. They put them on leashes and they all walk around together, and the alligators poop rainbows, but the rainbows don't survive because they just can't on stinky worlds.

When I grow up

By Stacia

I will be a millionaire and I will either live in a condo or a mansion. If I live in a mansion I am going to tell my twin boys to scrub my feet. Then I am going to the massage chair.

Things that aliens eat

  • Tiny pebbles
  • Snakes made out of toilet water and electricity
  • Pizza with plastic, lettuce, pencil shavings
  • Toenails
  • Nothing
  • Very few meats
  • Seaweed shakes
  • Boogers
  • Doughnuts and cake and anything
  • Beans and peas and that's how they fart a lot
  • Leeches covered in snot
  • Each other